Thursday, Sept. 10, 2009
Honestly.....
It is times like this when I just want to throw my hands up in the air and be like, I FUCKING GIVE UP. Because I am sick and fucking tired of being sick and fucking tired ALL THE TIME. I am sick of being the strong one all the time. Yet I don't want anyone to save me; I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than be dependent on someone else (I'm just saying).
Yet I long to be held.
For real.
By someone who knows and actually gives a damn.
Is that so wrong?
I just don't understand. I've survived so much more than this and yet a stupid viral bug thing is making my head come unglued. WTF?!??
I just want to go home and run into my mother's arms, but I don't have that luxury. I have to finish my Senior year. I'm too close to give up.
Yet it is ALL I CAN TAKE for me NOT TO!!!!!!
Diabetes, manic dysphoria, Mother Nature, AND a nasty virus ALL AT ONCE?
F.
MY.
LIFE.
Yet I want to live, because somehow, I have lived to see another sunrise. I saw another one rise just this morning. Life is a precious gift; I don't want to waste it.
I feel like I'm running in circles, chasing oblivion, and realizing that the light that I thought was at the end of the tunnel was just ANOTHER FUCKING TRAIN to knock me down on my big black ass. And that's what's UP with me.
Peace always,
V
nessiegurlie at 3:24 P.M.
